A shout in the night:

When I awoke early and heard you entering the house downstairs, I shouted a mighty hello to you. Then I saw you asleep at my side; I had dreamed you were downstairs. Now I feared that my shout must awaken you, but you slept on. That shout, too, was in the dream.

Let’s think outside the box – Printers:

You need to feed paper through a printer in order to print your precious documenents, right? Maybe not. You might just rub the printer on the paper: printdreams.

I “Sell” cars:

Many people think you can use quote signs for emphasis. I’ve got “news” for you guys. A sign saying:
“Fresh” Shrimp
actually means:
Fresh Shrimp? Not!

Here is a truly Polish joke:

The joke is Reverse Polish Notation, a method of notating complex calculations and formulas that never requires one to use parentheses. It is widely used in calculators and computer software. If the great Polish mathematician Jan Łukasiewicz hadn’t invented it backwards, it would be called: Polish Notation.

Don't ask this question at your favorite bookstore:

Do you have Ventriloquism for Dummies?

Amuse me:

I have a question regarding the proliferation of TV channels, the ubiquity of bad shows and the dearth of decent script writers. Why do we have such a need to be entertained?

James Thurber had a good idea:

If you tend to write too many exclamation marks, you can do better by using colons instead. Here’s one of his examples:
I love: you.

Good Advice:

A few hundred years from now people will read 20th Century newspaper advice columns and die laughing.

Personal Recovery:

You’ve noticed how hard it is to back up a personal computer, right? You’ve noticed how easy it is to back up a PDA, right? Some day, your PDA will be a full-featured computer, and the only thing you’ll use your PC for is: to back it up.

Making Latte is my Forte.

A lot of people would rather say “Making latté is my forté.” There’s no use complaining that they’re wrong; language evolves, doesn’t it? AMENDED, DECEMBER 2003: Boy did I get this one wrong. Latte is an Italian word. It's accented on the first syllable, the double tt causes a syllable separation in the middle, and the last e is pronounced but not accented. Something like LAHT-tay.