Seriously, no one lives in our garage:

In a way, I sympathize with the phone companies. They have begged congress to let them stop publishing those thick, fat telephone directories. They know that most people don’t use them any more. Smart phones and the Internet have created better ways to find telephone numbers.

Congress has not obliged. Consequently, once a year, we watch an immigrant walk down the street, depositing a plastic bag pregnant with pages in front of each and every home.

I’m sure some people really appreciate these heavy tomes, but I throw mine out at once.

Twice.

Because only the phone company, or its legitimate representatives, seem to think that both I and my garage require a full set of phone books.