Headstones are too small.

Most headstones on graves are too small. Or perhaps the fonts used on them are too large. The headstone (if one plans ahead) is a rare last chance to express a strong opinion to a captive audience. I’m sure many of us would like to express five or six, but there’s hardly room for one clear thought. Such as:

• No more deadlines for me.
  
• At last, no more wires to untangle.
  
• The world’s become a mess hasn’t it? Glad I’m not there.
  
• Death and Taxes may both be inevitable, but you get to deal with one at a time.
  
• If you figure out my password, please reformat my disk drive. Don’t look!
  
• See? That wire needed more insulation.
  
• This headstone has been reformatted to fit your field of vision.
  
• Back in twenty minutes.