We went to Restoration Hardware today to buy House Numbers so that people can find our house. We picked out a pair of handsome iron digits and called the sales lady over.
She explained that they do not carry these numbers in stock, but that they would ship them directly to us.
“How will they know where to deliver them?” I asked.
She didn’t get it.
It was a really bad joke.
Speaking of Restoration Hardware: you probably have tons of paperback books all over your home. Have you ever wondered what they are worth? Well, before giving them away to a book sale or dumping them, consider this: they may be worth seven dollars apiece.
Take a bunch of paperbacks that are all the same height and width. Tear off their front and back covers. Leave them in the sun for a few months so that they develop a slightly browned look. (Hey, maybe they look like that already.) Then take some rough, ecru twine and tie them into tight bundles of four. Put the more aged-looking books on the outside, and tie them tight enough so that it’s hard to open them enough to figure out what books they really are. Then call them “antique book bundles” and sell them for $29 a bundle.
Hey, I didn’t make that up. But maybe Restoration Hardware did.