Sunday, March 21, 2010


My swimming is very competitive. I always swim continuous laps, trying to beat my best time for swimming a mile. (I’m a slow swimmer, barely faster than 1 MPH.) My swimsuit has a waist-string that I must tie tight, or else the suit will drift off me when I change directions at each end of the pool. And that presents a problem. After I’ve swum for a few minutes, the string stretches. I have to stop and tie it tighter, which means I have to interrupt my continuous lap swimming.

Recently I found a solution to this problem. It involves doing something that for reasons of anti-vanity, I have never done, and would never do, in real life. Before initially tieing the string, I suck my belly in very tight, as if I’m trying to look good for some passing female. While in this ridiculous position, I tie the string. After that, I’m fine.
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