Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A Modest Proposal for the ABC Network:

Poor ABC. After cancellations of “Saving Private Ryan” for fear of FCC censure (for violence), they showed a bare lady in a football ad at 9 P.M. They’re eating a lot of naked crow for that. Yet ABC must desperately plumb new heights to compete with the other networks.

ABC, I know how to solve your problem: Become a cable network. First you’ll be able to make great deals to be carried on cable systems because you’re such a mature network. Plus, you’ll bring lots of new viewers to cable. Second, you’ll be better than most cable networks because of your size and diversity. Third, you’ll whip NBC, CBS and FOX because you can produce the same programming they do without any FCC oversight. You’ve got to hurry and make this move before the other networks think of the same idea. I can’t wait to see the cheerleaders on ABC cable Monday Night Football…
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