Tuesday, December 25, 2012

In Which I call upon Fox News to Carry on the great battle:


Fox News has continued to fight a war against the War Against Christmas. Recently, their efforts have gotten lame enough for the Doonesbury comic strip to make fun of them.

But a new front has opened up in the war against Christmas. I’m sure I need only expose it, to provide new meat for the commentators at Fox to get their teeth into. Let me explain:

I walked around town today, and of course most stores were closed. In their windows I saw a sign that I’m sure you saw as well. A sign that is an affront to decency. It said:

Sorry, we’re closed.
Can you imagine that? “Sorry”, on Christmas day? Here’s what those signs ought to say, if Christmas means anything:

Hey, everyone, we don’t have to work today, because it’s Christmas. We’re GLAD to be closed today. Glad, you hear me? Glad!

That’s the spirit. You won’t find that sign anywhere, although you should. Instead:
Huh.
Sorry, we’re closed.
Bah!
Humbug.



That’s the story, and I hope Fox will get right on it.

In the interest of full disclosure: This writer, who appreciates the way his fellow Americans enjoy the December 25th National Religious Winter Celebration, is Jewish. Happy Holidays!



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