Wednesday, January 02, 2013

In which Wayne LaPierre saves the US Economy:

This morning I weighed 221.6 pounds. It was a great New Year’s Eve party, but next time I must NOT just sit next to the big bucket of cashews. More bad news tomorrow? I ate Chinese tonight, another celebration.

A few days ago, I made fun of Wayne LaPierre’s suggestion that we post armed guards at all public schools, and by implication, just about everywhere. I wondered how we would pay for all these guards, and complained that these guards’ work would not add a whit to the nation’s productivity.

I wish to apologize.

I was wrong.

How simple it is to make LaPierre’s plan both practical and productive. The cost of arming these guards, and their salaries, can be paid – of course – by the gun manufacturers. They will have to raise their prices a bit, but the second amendment says nothing against that. I look forward to the gun industry paying the salaries of the 10,000,000 armed guards, and paying for the humongous bureaucracy we will need to oversee them. Perhaps some of the gun manufacturers from other countries will agree to pitch in.

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